Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Me vs. Zach Randolph in the XBox Showdown (a photo history)

      I came into the matchup feeling fantastic about my chances. While Zach Randolph is an NBA player, and NBA players are great at XBOX, I figured that with an 8 week old baby girl that is keeping him up at night that he probably had not had much time to play the game this year. I was having to play with the Pistons, while Zach was playing with the Grizzlies.
     Before we even start the game he is going into all of these screens I have never even seen and switching all of these settings so quickly that I don't even know what is happening. I am rattled.
What is he changing? Why have I never seen these screens? I have played the game many times, so what have I not been doing that I should have been?

We start the game and I am holding my own. In fact, I am starting to think that I have vastly overrated how good an NBA player is at games like this. I get to halftime with the score 22-22, and Ben Gordon has not even gone off yet. I am in good shape. Grizzlies backup point guard Marcus Williams has come in to watch and starts talking. "I am too nice at this game." "Nobody has ever beat me at this game." These are the types of quotes coming from Marcus. He watches the game almost in disgust and I wonder to myself how awesome he must be.

We start the third quarter and I am keeping the game close, the biggest lead is 2 or 3 pts at any given time.
In the middle of the quarter Ben Gordon shoots a 3 and the ball comes flying off the rim - Chris Wilcox climbs up the back of Hasheem Thabeet and slams it down on his head.  I go ballastic, Randolph is stunned..

The third quarter ended with me down by 6 after a I took a few bad shots and did not get back on defense.  I start blaming the players.  How could Joe Dumars put together this roster?  Why is the frontcourt of the Pistons total bologna?  How am I going to be able to comeback in the 4th qtr?  Why don't I know about the screens and settings Zach was messing with earlier?  I am dejected heading into the final frame...

The first pass I make, simply trying get the ball in, is stolen.  Layup.  I am down 8.  We are only playing 3 minute quarters so I need to hurry up and get back in this game.  Ben Gordon 3 after Ben Gordon 3 after Ben Gordon 3.  I need it.  Brick, brick, brick.  Ben Gordon misses every friggin shot he takes and I score a grand total of 4 pts in the fourth quarter.  I am crushed.  I lose 50-36.  I curse the names of Joe Dumars, and Ben Gordon, and secret screens of which I am unaware.  I am a loser.  The picture says it all...